Stay Humble Celebrating

In early February this year, Arsenal FC faced Liverpool FC in a highly anticipated football match, which ended with Arsenal securing a 3-1 victory. The Arsenal players were understandably overjoyed with the win and took the time to celebrate with the fans who had come out to support them. However, their celebrations were criticised by some football pundits, who accused them of being too excessive. The critics argued that, as professional players, the Arsenal team should have immediately headed back to the locker room to prepare for their next challenge, rather than wasting time basking in their win. However, Arsenal’s captain, Martin Odegaard, defended the team’s actions. He stated that players should be allowed to enjoy their victories and celebrate with the fans, as it was a significant achievement that deserved recognition. Despite his defence of the celebrations, Odegaard emphasized importance of remaining humble and focused on the next game. For him, the win was not just a reason to celebrate but it was also a reminder of the team’s ongoing commitment to excellence.

Though a simple football scenario, it reminded me of how it is easy for us to be too quick to move on to situations worth celebrating in life. We live in a very fast-paced world and even time to celebrate our birthdays seems like a luxury for some, let alone small wins in the office, at school or in relationships. Now if we can’t express gratitude and joy for being alive and making even the smallest step in the right direction, when will we know when to celebrate? It got me thinking about different milestones in life; some of which I see how I celebrated while others could have been done better. I’m not saying we should throw a party every time you smash those KPIs or achieve the marks at school- but if you can, why not? Celebrating success for yourself and others around you can be something as simple as a verbal cheer or acknowledgement of tasks crossed off, a workout done, a business started or a job interview planned.

Celebrating for you. If anything, you need to do this for yourself. Ever pointed at a mirror and had your reflection pointing right back at you? Yes, I am writing this too knowing that I need to do this more as a form of self-care. This helps you set aside physically, mentally and emotionally to recharge, refresh and appreciate yourself. Perhaps on this journey of celebration, you find the right mental space to unwind and decompress and recognize more things about yourself- strengths and weaknesses. In the long term, an emotional reboot is always important after a long season of sweat and hard work to not burn out. I imagine that a major transition from high school to university without waiting for results, celebrating and reframing for the next stage would leave one exhausted and dull. Instead, we finish one stage in life and relish all that we have accomplished (whatever that is!), we need to show ourselves appreciation. So give yourself that pat on the back – you deserve it!

“You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?”

Dr. Seuss

Celebrating is not only about caring but also about sharing. It’s in the acknowledgement of leaps in life that you enjoy with family and friends how far you have gone to where you are. It gives people a chance to join in with you in celebration and vice versa. What better time to remind you that you are never on your own? You have a community rooting for you and motivated to share in your success. That’s why whether completing primary school, high school or even your tertiary education- you will have your whole village reach out to you to congratulate you if they are not already on the way to hoist you up in the air! And from personal experience, we only ever realize how much we should celebrate ourselves when we share our wins with those we love. If left to your strength and choice, you may not do it as much justice.

Last, but not least, a celebration is a beautiful opportunity to cultivate a habit of gratitude towards God. It allows us to reflect on our journey and be thankful for all He has done for us while keeping our hearts and minds focused on Him. It’s not just a wonderful feeling but also a compass it keeps us on the right path. We can often become distracted by the excitement at that time and forget that our achievements are not solely due to our strength, provision, or might. Celebrating reminds us to appreciate ourselves, and those around us, and above all, to thank God. So whatever it is this quarter, month, week- don’t forget to celebrate!

“Take a moment to celebrate yourself, how far you’ve come, where you’re going, your accomplishments, your courage and your strength. Never forget, you are amazing.”

Unknown

Coaching the Critic

Last weekend I had a great catch-up with friends and reminisced about our different primary and high school experiences. It was just comparing how our various and unique experiences brought us to that very moment, especially those that shaped our perspective in life. For instance, while in primary I learned to swim, which opened doors for me to participate in most swimming competitions. The swimming tournaments were fun and even if you didn’t win, you were glad to have participated and met other students. When you get to high school, this is more competitive. You need to be good, you could say a star “fish”, to qualify to be part of the school swim team. I recall having to “interview” by trying to beat the fastest time in length across the pool with the style of my choice. No way I could have beaten a 9-second freestyle record – so that is where I hang my flippers, even before I started. I am sure if I returned the following term, I could have trained with the team, given the first term was when school games were held thus practice was intense. But I didn’t swim my way back, at least not swimming competitively. As a teen, this was already my way of disqualifying myself and saying I should try my luck elsewhere. That’s probably why I don’t bother to jump into something that I’m not sure I will win at. But hey, we are too adult and grown for this now, right? Nope.

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Just like my teenage self, I find myself disqualifying myself even before I start a new venture. This could be for a job application, project, routine or even making new connections. You would think that by now I would have learned all the right mantras and whoosahs to keep myself level-headed and confident. I am sure I’m not alone in this. Life has us facing decisions with the power to change our lives and the course we take. More often or not, there are external factors that influence the decision. However, there are times when the factors are internal. There is a fight between your positive and negative self. A struggle between your inner protagonist and antagonist. A duel between your inner coach and critic. Two voices we hear give helpful advice and harmful opinions concurrently, leaving us in a dilemma. The loudest voice wins!

Coaches are great especially when you want to learn a skill. Like in my earlier example, you would struggle to learn how to swim without a good coach. The coach mentors, teaches, corrects, guides and encourages you. Your inner coach does the same, now internally. This is the core of who you are and what you can do. No one knows you better than you know yourself. And even when we doubt our abilities and know-how, the coach encourages us to try. What is the worst that could happen?

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wears you out; it’s the Pebble in your shoe.”

Muhammad Ali

On the other hand, we have the incessant voice criticising your every thought, habit and move. The inner critic makes us lose sight of who we are and coaxes us to take the ‘easier’, more comfortable, expected route. These shortcuts are not only to get something done faster but to confirm one’s inability to thrive; instead, it is more of survival mode. This is seen in the student who chooses to cheat in an exam not just to successfully pass the exam, but also from a point of inadequacy to make it on your own. The inner critic’s mission is to limit our potential, view ourselves in contrast to an ideal we never chose for ourselves, and make us strive to be someone we’re not. A cheater. Unqualified. Unloved. Underrated. Is it all worth it?

Finally, when you miss that bus on your commute to work or school, you can look at it on either side of the coin. The bus has left you and you should probably have gotten ready faster and managed your time better. Alternatively, you miss the bus but other buses will come and you were not hurt on the road. Did you miss an opportunity? There will be more opportunities. As a child, we tend to learn through taking risks like learning to walk, talk and new skills. They will do what they feel in the way they know how until they are shown the right way. Until that happens, they will redirect the critic and tug at anything they can. And when it doesn’t go well the first time, they can pick it back up and try again. As adults, this is a worthwhile lesson; to coach the critic in us.

Don’t Stop Playing!

My friend and I were catching up the other day about how things have changed with technology, especially how kids play and socialise. Remember when we argued about who was the fastest or best at football, playing hide and seek, cops and robbers, stuck in the mud, and other cool games? Nowadays, kids are all about TikTok challenges, Candy Crush tournaments, and having the latest device, a phone or a hand-held console. We’re not saying these things weren’t around when we were young, but they weren’t as big a deal as now. After a long day of running around, playing football, cycling, and maybe even some marbles (bano), we’d wrap things up by turning on the Sony console and wiping the backside of the game CD so it would start up. And if you had a cartridge game like Nintendo or Sega Mega, you had to blow into it to remove any dust interfering with the console’s power. That was our version of “buffering” and “refreshing” back in the 90s 😂.

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Forget what they say about all work and no play! Even in all the nostalgia, I agree that times change and innovation has to do its thing and overtake the former way of doing things. But it doesn’t mean that we lose the essence of all these things- to play and have fun. Playing around isn’t just for laughs but perfect for your social life. From kids learning the ropes of friendship on the playground to adults bonding over games, play helps us connect. We may not be able to compare two situations, but whether playing jump rope or catching up on a game of Monopoly, we learn how to talk, listen, share, and work together, all while having a good time. Social and active interactions with friends help us heal from emotional stuff and build stronger relationships. Next time you feel like letting loose and having fun do it! You’re basically giving your social skills and emotional health a high five.

Forget the suit and tie (or Teams and Zoom?)! Turns out, work isn’t all about being serious. Many companies find that letting employees loosen up and have fun leads to better work. Think games tables, yoga classes, or even short breaks to goof with coworkers. All this play leads to happier, more productive employees who are less likely to call in sick or quit. Even if your workplace isn’t exactly a playground, you can still sneak in some fun during breaks. Joke with colleagues, doodle during downtime or challenge them to a lunchtime game of cards. Don’t get me wrong- I am not saying you should have a PlayStation 5 setup at the office, but a little play can make a big difference, especially to break free from the usual boring routines. So ditch the frown and embrace your inner child – maybe, just maybe, your work will thank you for it!

“Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father.”

Roger von Oech

Realistically, we are not always on top of our game, especially when facing challenges and hard times. But who knows, maybe the path to whatever solution you seek gets clearer when you take everything lightly. Also, it may not be our first nature- I know it’s not mine, but it is something we can nurture with time. Sure, shyness and fear of rejection might make you hold back, but this is how we explored and thrived as kids. It’s the foundation for so much growth. Plus, a playful approach can help you find the humour in everyday problems, even the most stressful ones. Instead of getting bogged down, a little joy can lighten the load and offer a fresh perspective. So set aside some time for pure play, crack a joke with a friend, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. The more you tap into that cheerful side, the more natural and comfortable it will become. You might even surprise yourself with new ideas and a lighter outlook on life’s challenges.

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Four years back, the world was hit by a global pandemic that turned everything upside down. Work, school, businesses, health, relationships, you name it – everything was affected. We had limited motion and restricted interactions, lost jobs, and businesses shut down. But hey, we made it through. Looking back, I’m grateful for the virtual meetings and sessions that kept us entertained and connected with our loved ones. We played games, took lessons, and worked together, all while observing safe distances and wearing masks. This experience taught me that life is precious, and we should cherish it by spending quality time with our loved ones and enjoying the pleasures of life.

“Almost all creativity involves purposeful play.”

Abraham Maslow

Life’s Golden Circle

Nothing beats a child’s curiosity especially when he or she is trying to understand what adults do what they do. “Why do you have to go to work and not stay home and play with me?” It’s easy to brush this off and say that we need work to make money. Why? So that I can afford to buy things for you and me. Why? So that we do not lack and run out of things. Why? Life can be expensive when you are not prepared with money so it is good to have enough, if not more than enough. When you think you have answered all the questions and no more whines and whys, you hear, “Don’t worry. When I grow up, I will make that money so that you don’t have to work any more and can play some more.” Cute as this is, it is also a wake-up call- how much is enough to stop worrying about what we need once in a while to take in the fresh air and consider why we need it, if not to play more?

Imagine a company that just rambles about what they sell and how they make it, but never really explains why they exist. “Premium quality…made for you and your loved one… you will love it!” This is the kind of thing Simon Sinek, a business author, says most companies do wrong in his book, Start with Why. Sinek’s idea is simple: start with why. What’s the real reason a company exists? What bigger cause would it be fighting for? This “why” is the emotional core that gets people truly invested in a brand. After this, consider the approach towards that why; this is the “how”. And finally, the final output is the “what” which would be the product and services offered by a company. For your everyday employee, the “what” could be the take-home or pay from work. This 3-level analysis is known as the Golden Circle which Simon Sinek has delved deep into whether in talks or his book. On a more personal level, this got me thinking about my why, how and what – if at all they exist 🙂.

So why do I do what I do? The “why” in a company keeps the employees fired up and waking up every morning to work, navigating the traffic jams and crazy motorists at times. On top of this, it is bound to attract customers who believe in what you’re doing. For me, this is like a personal mission statement with some serious passion behind it. Not just passion but my purpose. Why do I write? To challenge my limits and creative boundaries learning from others. The more I read the more I can confidently write. To provoke, to learn, to teach and to pun. A friend of mine once told me to put down my thoughts on paper so that I never lose the train of thought. Hence the tagline for this blog Putting it down on paper… With a strong “why,” those bumps in the road become stepping stones, and you are less likely to forget or lose the drive you have on your projects, business or work. At times, we work so that we can fund or fuel our purpose so that we sustain our causes. Earning and making money is necessary for survival but is not our sole purpose on Earth. Good health and comfortable living is not a purpose on its own. My challenge to myself is this: my “why” should be enduring and in one way or another involve a sort of social impact for it to have a sense of purpose. What is “purpose” if not for the good of the people?

“Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.”

John D. Rockefeller

How you go about this would be your approach. For a business or project, this involves having a framework that sets up the processes and basic foundation. The path towards making your enterprise stand out from the rest. It may be the customer service. It may be the communication. It may be the follow-up calls after service. All of these depend on the vision and mission of what you are working on. If I have a vision towards mental, physical and spiritual wellness then I check into what I have in place to help me. Is my diet in check? Am I working out? Do I guard my spiritual walk closely through attending church, prayer and fellowship? Am I setting aside time to read and watch content that enlightens, teaches and nourishes? Most organisations have a pretty good understanding of how they do what they do. It’s what distinguishes them from the crowd. So, even at a personal level, it is worth thinking about how you would like to do what you do — the how is often rooted in values.

Lastly, we have to consider the what. End of the day, the “what” is the product or service that a company wants to provide to the customer base. For a person, the “what” could be the job title or the role in the business. Although, this can be confused with your identity at times. Remember, how you were asked to describe yourself and said “I am an accountant”? Well, this is more of what you do, hopefully, based on a vision (why) and values (how) that help you navigate your professional space. In essence, your “what” would be the vehicle through which you express your “why” and “how”. For a singer, these are songs. For an artist, this is the art. For a doctor, this would be the consults and operations performed. We all have something to offer of which we just need to open our minds and hearts to them. But it all starts from the inside looking out.

On the Golden Circle, I can’t say that I am an expert or pro at it. I mean I still wake up every weekday to work to pay the bills and look for other ways to make more money (I probably should start charging a subscription fee for all these nuggets I share 😁). But the more I recall life’s experiences the more I relate different phases as leading to my why, how and what. They have gone through evolution, changes, deletion and pivots. Knowing your “why,” your true motivation, allows you to stay focused and resilient. After understanding your “why,” next up is identifying your “how”- your unique way you achieve results which will be the “what”.

Ultimately, the way I look at it, life is all about knowing why I do what I do rather than focusing on what I do. That said, what’s your “why”?

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.”

Winston S. Churchill

Good and Done!

Happy new month…and the year goes March-ing on! I have no idea where the year has gone because if you were to ask me, I would have said that we just said “Happy New Year” the other day. Here we are on the third month, the end of Q1 for some and a little closer to the Easter holidays for others. A welcome break or transition to the next period while asking obvious questions like; “So, what have I done so far this year?” Companies and entrepreneurs often do this when doing a stock take- just to ensure that the business is running as it should. Even at a personal level, I am sure that we ask ourselves this no matter how small or big our resolution may have been at the start of the year. Then again, this may not be for everyone as I know goals can be set yearly or a rolling one for different people. No matter the goal, we just have to track whether our resolve, discipline and routine are paying off.

One of the things that a business will often look at in terms of performance is how much money they are making and how much demand there is out there. This will often be in comparison with past performance as well as compared to the competitors. Even though I am not a company or own one, I find myself far too often falling into the pit of the latter; comparing myself with others on how I am doing and how I should be doing better. Despite knowing that experiences and situations are unique and cannot be the same, this is a trap many fall into. The result? Well, working to perfect my ways so that I’m not slacking and on track like so and so. After all, whatever I have planned has to work out at all costs!

The key to reaching your end goal is to take action, it’s as simple as that. Once you have started working on that business, going to the gym, applying for those jobs or building new friendships, you have made some headway. As we start, it’s easy to get caught up in the desire to achieve perfection, but perfection isn’t always necessary. Instead, focus on making progress and taking steps towards your aspirations. Remember that even small steps can lead to significant progress and that the journey of 1000 miles towards your goal can be just as important as the destination itself. At the start of the year, I determined to be consistent in blogging which has meant more reading is needed. On my third book for the year and hoping to keep the fire burning. Keep doing what you set out to do, taking action, course correcting and moving forward.

“Progress not perfection… you can’t be perfect everything… but you can gain progress on a daily basis.”

Court McGee

They say ‘Practice makes perfect’ but don’t let that desire for perfection hold you back. There are moments in life where putting in extra effort and striving for perfection may not always be necessary. Instead of focusing on producing exceptional work, it may be more worthwhile to prioritize completing the task at hand satisfactorily and allocate time to more critical matters. In such situations, recognize that time is a valuable resource that would be the key to the success of what you are working on. For example, I may want to hit a specific weight goal or personal running record like someone else but I just can’t seem to get there. Though in all my attempts, I am improving and doing better than before. Feeling that need to compete against another all the time to attain a perfect score may not be all that it’s wrapped up to be if at the stake of your health. When all is said and done, you give your best and complete it then on to the next challenge!

Fighting fear over embracing perfection is more of what we should do. I recall my primary school days not wanting to submit compositions to the teacher because I feared the marks I would get. You see I wasn’t too confident of my grasp of the language let alone creative writing, in English or Kiswahili for that matter. I guess at some point it dawned on me that I would never learn the subject well without allowing the teacher’s remarks (and red biro pen all over the foolscap) to correct me. If I held on for the right moment and time when I’d mastered every word, sentence and paragraph then I probably would never have learnt sooner than I did. Even now, with each piece that I write, I can’t attest to being the best wordsmith but a few ideas put together on paper allow me to create something worth the read every other week. I am sure that even the most successful people have aspects of their work that they wish they could do better. And that’s okay because no innovation or new idea will be discovered by accident but through a desire for growth and making progress with what you have. Fight the fear to act, embrace the ongoing process and keep pushing forward towards those goals.

If anything, March is going to see me trying to let go of the preconceived notions of how things should be done and when they should be done. For instance, something as simple as cleaning the house used to be such a drag and a huge chore. If you’re like me (but I trust you are hardworking and super clean) you could spend more time on that couch thinking about what you need to do rather than actually doing them because after all there’s always tomorrow, right? Who is going to make sure that the whole house is clean? In the end, I broke down the chores into smaller tasks to be done on different days or times that way I don’t have to handle one major chore at a go. This method may not be perfect, but it does get me off thinking about cleaning and actually doing it. This same mindset can be applied to any work or studying that you may be procrastinating. If you’ve been putting off that business proposal, application or essay, just start writing it, even if it’s disorganized or doesn’t make sense. Break it down into what is manageable and get on it. Everyone has to start somewhere. Remember, done is better than perfect and in the day we hope it will be good and done.

“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can’t learn anything from being perfect.”

Adam Osbourne