Life’s Golden Circle

Nothing beats a child’s curiosity especially when he or she is trying to understand what adults do what they do. “Why do you have to go to work and not stay home and play with me?” It’s easy to brush this off and say that we need work to make money. Why? So that I can afford to buy things for you and me. Why? So that we do not lack and run out of things. Why? Life can be expensive when you are not prepared with money so it is good to have enough, if not more than enough. When you think you have answered all the questions and no more whines and whys, you hear, “Don’t worry. When I grow up, I will make that money so that you don’t have to work any more and can play some more.” Cute as this is, it is also a wake-up call- how much is enough to stop worrying about what we need once in a while to take in the fresh air and consider why we need it, if not to play more?

Imagine a company that just rambles about what they sell and how they make it, but never really explains why they exist. “Premium quality…made for you and your loved one… you will love it!” This is the kind of thing Simon Sinek, a business author, says most companies do wrong in his book, Start with Why. Sinek’s idea is simple: start with why. What’s the real reason a company exists? What bigger cause would it be fighting for? This “why” is the emotional core that gets people truly invested in a brand. After this, consider the approach towards that why; this is the “how”. And finally, the final output is the “what” which would be the product and services offered by a company. For your everyday employee, the “what” could be the take-home or pay from work. This 3-level analysis is known as the Golden Circle which Simon Sinek has delved deep into whether in talks or his book. On a more personal level, this got me thinking about my why, how and what – if at all they exist 🙂.

So why do I do what I do? The “why” in a company keeps the employees fired up and waking up every morning to work, navigating the traffic jams and crazy motorists at times. On top of this, it is bound to attract customers who believe in what you’re doing. For me, this is like a personal mission statement with some serious passion behind it. Not just passion but my purpose. Why do I write? To challenge my limits and creative boundaries learning from others. The more I read the more I can confidently write. To provoke, to learn, to teach and to pun. A friend of mine once told me to put down my thoughts on paper so that I never lose the train of thought. Hence the tagline for this blog Putting it down on paper… With a strong “why,” those bumps in the road become stepping stones, and you are less likely to forget or lose the drive you have on your projects, business or work. At times, we work so that we can fund or fuel our purpose so that we sustain our causes. Earning and making money is necessary for survival but is not our sole purpose on Earth. Good health and comfortable living is not a purpose on its own. My challenge to myself is this: my “why” should be enduring and in one way or another involve a sort of social impact for it to have a sense of purpose. What is “purpose” if not for the good of the people?

“Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.”

John D. Rockefeller

How you go about this would be your approach. For a business or project, this involves having a framework that sets up the processes and basic foundation. The path towards making your enterprise stand out from the rest. It may be the customer service. It may be the communication. It may be the follow-up calls after service. All of these depend on the vision and mission of what you are working on. If I have a vision towards mental, physical and spiritual wellness then I check into what I have in place to help me. Is my diet in check? Am I working out? Do I guard my spiritual walk closely through attending church, prayer and fellowship? Am I setting aside time to read and watch content that enlightens, teaches and nourishes? Most organisations have a pretty good understanding of how they do what they do. It’s what distinguishes them from the crowd. So, even at a personal level, it is worth thinking about how you would like to do what you do — the how is often rooted in values.

Lastly, we have to consider the what. End of the day, the “what” is the product or service that a company wants to provide to the customer base. For a person, the “what” could be the job title or the role in the business. Although, this can be confused with your identity at times. Remember, how you were asked to describe yourself and said “I am an accountant”? Well, this is more of what you do, hopefully, based on a vision (why) and values (how) that help you navigate your professional space. In essence, your “what” would be the vehicle through which you express your “why” and “how”. For a singer, these are songs. For an artist, this is the art. For a doctor, this would be the consults and operations performed. We all have something to offer of which we just need to open our minds and hearts to them. But it all starts from the inside looking out.

On the Golden Circle, I can’t say that I am an expert or pro at it. I mean I still wake up every weekday to work to pay the bills and look for other ways to make more money (I probably should start charging a subscription fee for all these nuggets I share 😁). But the more I recall life’s experiences the more I relate different phases as leading to my why, how and what. They have gone through evolution, changes, deletion and pivots. Knowing your “why,” your true motivation, allows you to stay focused and resilient. After understanding your “why,” next up is identifying your “how”- your unique way you achieve results which will be the “what”.

Ultimately, the way I look at it, life is all about knowing why I do what I do rather than focusing on what I do. That said, what’s your “why”?

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.”

Winston S. Churchill

My Precious

“Must have precious…can’t let the hobbitses get her.” Says Gollum, a small creature about the size of the hobbits (fictional characters half the average human height), in one of the scenes in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Precious in this case was the ever-elusive and powerful ring that makes up the movie trilogy and the main reason for the plot. In this scene, Gollum is conversing with himself about the ring. See he has two shades; the cute, pitiable and fun-loving person known as Smeagol and the villain, schemer and ruthless one, Gollum, who wants only to survive and take the ring away from the Hobbits. The first time the Hobbits, Frodo and Samwise, met Gollum they were confused by the conversations only to realise that he was in an internal struggle between these two sides. I would say very much like our day-to-day lives.

It’s easy to take for granted this small and ugly-looking character’s role in such an action-packed movie. With the main plot and the more impressive main characters, he is just your supporting fictional creature to make things interesting. However, his obsession with the ring and the struggle he faced internally made me think of the material and trivial things that got me making them my “precious” at the cost of more important things like values, relationships and purpose.

My precious values would probably be what would be my compass to navigate through life. Some situations will come up that will tempt and woo you to go against what you believe in. The more exciting and appealing things in life. Maybe a shortcut in getting things done instead of the long and hard road that’s not as fun. Fastest way to the top has to be the best way. But also ends up being the fastest route down. For Gollum, the Ring promised power to him. Thus his tenacity and greed for it grew when he found that there was a possibility of getting it. Power, as with any other drug, may seem necessary to accomplish something, but over time it devours us and we become slaves to it and seek it for the sake of it. It becomes an end in itself and we cease to be free individuals.

“A highly developed values system is like a compass. It serves as a guide to point you in the right direction when you are lost.”

Idowu Koyenikan

My precious relationships are my network which people say is your net worth, right? More than half the career and business opportunities I have gotten have been through social circles I have had, and not because of an amazing set of skills. Don’t get me wrong, we need to always make sure we are sharpening our talents and abilities, but also knowing that the people around us are just as much an investment. Apart from work, having meaningful relationships provides us with a balance away from the busy, fast-paced life as a space for emotional and social outlets. It’s these small things when pulled away that we realise just how much we need them. Flashback to the lockdown era of 2020-21 when everything was home-based from school and work to the church, birthday parties and game nights. And now that things are near normal, including the return to office policies, it’s easy to take for granted the times we spend or don’t spend with our loved ones.

My precious purpose should be what gets me out of bed every day smiling and what I could do even if I was not paid for it. Then ask me why we still find it hard to wake up to head to work or school. Are we not living our best lives? Am I not living my purpose while out here grinding? More often than not we introduce ourselves to others by what we do and not why we do it. We state our position and not who we are. I am a manager now. But could be demoted or promoted tomorrow. I won’t stop being a son, brother, friend, student etc. So what would I say I am working towards as a whole? That I guess would rest in that precious purpose. The other day I was reading a book and the author spurred the reader to always ask why we do what we do. If we want to amass wealth, why? If not to be poor, why? If we get to the money goal, what? Often, we get stuck in that rut of digging deeper for more and more of that cash, with no goal in mind- just that fueled by the gold rush. Maybe we should be more on that goal rush, discovering our precious purposes.

See Gollum’s struggle is very much like our own struggles as I said. While we are on earth what seems most appealing is how much we amass, how many people we impress and the ranks we climb up. When thinking about this, I figured out some of the things worth holding to are our values, relationships and purpose. Of course, these are not the only precious “rings” that keeps one grounded, but they are a start. What about you; what do you want to hold on to in life that keeps you going?

“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something.”

Samwise, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Aim At Nothing; Hit Nothing

Archery is an easy-to-learn sport but one that would take a while to master. One can learn the basics in hours and hone the skills in months, but even the expert gets better. It’s something that you can practice for years and still find a way to get better at. Back when bows were weapons, archers trained for years – they needed to be in good shape and have very many hours worth of practice. While you may become a proficient archer quickly, it takes longer to become an excellent one. Recently I watched one of these action and adrenaline-pumped movies and in one of the scenes we have people preparing to go to battle. One lady stood out for her willingness and courage to want to be part of the archers heading into the battlefield. There was a bit of hesitation at first but as there was no time to negotiate and they would need all and every help they could, the head archer left her with these simple words: “If you aim at nothing, you hit nothing.” 

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Just like archery, the art of setting goals is something that one can get the basics in hours and take months to perfect. There are plenty of resources from the internet, to books, to other people’s experiences and tales on the topic- for a bonus 2-in-1 post :), feel free to check out more goal setting thoughts in Ready, Set…goal! The more we do it, the better we get at it. That’s why we should never give up even when we feel like we set goals at the beginning of the year and now that we are 9 months down the line, you want to throw in the towel- sound familiar? Hehe… That’s just it. We may not hit the actual target but there is something that we’ve managed to hit. That means we have tried. We have shot our shot. And if we miss, we will try again next time. We just have to never stop aiming. 

But you must be patient and careful; nor should you expect to become an accomplished archer without long and severe training.

Maurice Thompson

There are 3 key elements of archery – the bow, the stance and shooting. When it comes to bows, there are three basic types of bows: traditional longbow, recurve bows, and compound bows. Each one of them has their specific features and has been used at different points in history. As a beginner, you choose the best bow and arrow for you. You will need to know which is your dominant eye, your arm span (more or less) and how much weight you can draw back. Arrows come in different sizes as well and your arrow size will be determined by the weight of your drawback. I’d liken the bow to your purpose, arrows to your actions and target your goal. Each and every action you take when it comes to the goal setting should be “placed” on the purpose. This will always help guide the direction of what you do. With clear sight of what you are aiming for, it’s easier to eliminate certain things and emphasize the must-haves and must-dos.

How you stand is really important. With the bow in hand and arrow places, you should stand shoulder-width apart completely sideways to the target, with your toes at a 90 angle to your target. There should be no bending at the knees or waist and no leaning either. Keep a straight back. Your head is the only thing that turns toward the target and your arms are the only body part that moves. It requires total concentration and definitely no fidgeting. You can imagine being out in the wild with so many distractions like the rain, birds flying around, wind, strange noises from a forest – how exactly do you even keep calm? The moment we decide we want to aim for our target, goal, then that also needs us to have the right stance. Keep your head up and back straight. Try not to waver. Readjust if you must. The spacing between the feet is also for balance. We need the balance as much as we want to ensure that we are tunnel-focused. So that in case we do stumble, we can still get on the right footing. 

Hold the correct stance. Straighten your hand with the bow ahead of you but keep it flexible with a slight bend in the elbow. Don’t lock up your shoulder. Hold the bow like you would the handle of a coffee cup, with three fingers (pointer, middle and ring) but keep the thumb lowered. Drawback with three fingers around the string below where the arrow is placed. Keep the elbow of the drawback hand up in line with your arm that’s holding the bow. To shoot, just relax your hand holding the arrow and follow through with the shot. Don’t put down your bow or change your position until your arrow is in its target. As you should with your goals, never lose sight or focus on them. Not until the arrow’s landed where it should be or aimed for. Take a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. And…shoot!

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.

Pablo Picasso

Goals are the first step towards planning for the future, and play a fundamental role in the development of skills in various facets of life, from work to relationships and everything in between. Like bull’s eye when it comes to archery, they are the target at which we aim our proverbial arrow. Goal setting alone gives us just the right motivation and incentive to keep pushing through no matter what. It sets us apart from just being passive beings on this earth flowing with the current of day-to-day monotony. Therefore, we set goals not only to grow- but growth in itself is seen in achieving them. If we win and achieve them, then we celebrate. If we miss the target, time for us to recalibrate. Let’s do it! Set that goal. Get ready, breathe…and shoot!  

It concerns us to know the purposes we seek in life, for then, like archers aiming at a definite mark, we shall be more likely to attain what we want.

Aristotle

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